I’d planned to write about other things this weekend, but then an emergency happened. That emergency is called: we got the Peloton app.
To be clear, we don’t have the big expensive bike. I am not against the big expensive bike—there’s a dream version of me, one who lives in a much cleaner home, who has that bike. But right now, the thought of introducing a new piece of equipment into our cluttered home makes me break out in stress hives.
No, we just have the app, which is $12.99-$24.00 a month for most but free for us because of our insurance. As much as I intently studied our insurance’s website earlier this year when I was trying to get out of paying our bill (no dice!), I didn’t really inspect the perks. But a couple of weeks ago, Hollis texted me and said it was our last day to claim our one year free trial of the Peloton app.
I have a lot of apps in general and two apps dedicated entirely to exercise. I didn’t need or even want a new one, and I basically associated Peloton with the bike anyway. But then I remembered that my friend Jen had recently started using the app and gave me a glowing review. She reassured me that you did not need a bike (and also that the bikes could be rented) and that the app contained lots of other workouts. Jen is one of my most motivated friends, which is saying a lot because half of my friends are doctors or small business owners or both, so I figured she knew what she was talking about.
“Sure,” I told Hollis, easy-breezy, unaware that my life was about to change. It was free, after all. Personally I would prefer if our insurance would simply lower our deductible so that a medical emergency doesn’t mean spending thousands of dollars for a hospital stay, but we can’t always get what we want. I assumed I’d check out the app and then forget about it, returning to MadFit or Adriene and letting the Peloton icon languish on my phone.
That’s not what happened, though. I’m now a woman possessed. I wake up thinking of my Peloton workout. I go to bed planning the next day’s Peloton workout. I spend my days thinking about fitting in a quick strength workout. I already told Hollis that I’m going to want this app past our free year. He was like…uh…why don’t you see how you feel after a few months? But what UnitedHealthcare has put together, let no man put asunder! Me and the Peloton app are in it for life, or at least until I get obsessed with something new.
If you’re already a Peloton user, then you know what I’m talking about. But let’s say you’re unfamiliar. Perhaps you’re Peloton curious. Perhaps you’re a Peloton hater. Perhaps you’re thinking about that goofy pre-Pandemic commercial where the husband bought his wife a Peloton and everyone on Twitter got mad about it and acted like they were unpaid Peloton PR people1. I was once you. Up until a couple of weeks ago, I didn’t get the Peloton hype. And then I tried it.
What I love about the Peloton app is, first, the sheer breadth of workouts. This is by far the most comprehensive workout app I’ve ever tried. Cycling is obviously a big part of it, but I just ignore those workouts and I will still never come close to reaching the end of what Peloton has to offer me. There’s strength, featuring beginner (me) workouts through advanced (not me) workouts. There’s yoga. There’s meditation. There’s running. There’s stretching. There are treadmill walks (my favorite). There’s also rowing, which I’ll never try because you know how I feel about more equipment. There’s even an entire category of outdoor workouts, so I can listen to music and encouragement as I go on a walk.
And about that music. Peloton is able to license actual popular music, which means you don’t have to work out to the stock music that plagues so many exercise videos. There’s something demoralizing about doing bicep curls to generic beeps and boops. Sometimes I get distracted during a MadFit workout, wondering if the person who recorded the unmemorable vaguely R&B song I’m doing lunges to knew that it was going to end up being used this way. Well, that’s not a problem with Peloton. You want Prince yoga? You got it. A Dolly Parton walk? Of course! An entire Taylor Swift collection? Duh!
But the real selling points of the Peloton app are the instructors. I am, to put it mildly, obsessed with them. There’s nothing I love more than getting way too interested in the lives of people who are sort of famous but not actually famous (local news anchors, the personalities on the Calm meditation app, Food Network hosts, background exercisers in a Jillian Michaels video, etc.). Well, the Peloton app is giving me a lot to work with because everyone involved has their own unique personality and guess what…they’re mostly pretty weird! Which I love! Here are my favorites:
Jermaine: He calls himself JJ, which I enjoy. He’s very British, but we always keep subtitles on the TV so that’s fine. He loves Prince (same) and walking very fast and he tells me things like, “Dreams don’t work unless you do.” Usually my heart rate is so high that I’m like, “Wow, Jermaine, so true.”
Callie: I knew I loved Callie when I did a Taylor Swift Midnights workout and she sang along to, like, random words in the songs, always offkey. That’s the energy I want in a workout instructor. I love her vibe because she’s not very serious but she’s also not super pushy. She seems like she’s having a good time! Her sign off is “BYOE: Bring Your Own Energy.” I’m trying.
Rebecca: Once Rebecca told a story that involved her being part of her mom’s friends’ “walking club” when she was in high school, and I respect someone who has been a nerd about anything, even fitness, for that long.
Jess King: I love Jess King. In my first workout with her, a five minute cool down walk, she said, “You’re a badass with a great ass. Put on your stank face and lets do this shit. You know that voice in your head that says you need to workout today? Well that bitch can take the day off because you worked out.” I would follow her to the ends of the earth because she’s aggressively encouraging while somehow not being peppy. Like, the emphasis is on aggressive. Once when an Ashlee Simpson song played, she said, “I got into my first fist fight at an Ashlee Simpson show.”
Matty Maggiacomo: At first I thought Matty was so chill, and he is, but then I took “his” 30 minute Pride walk that was taught by Mara Thonner (sorry, just Mara, she doesn’t want to have anything of her ex-husband Phil’s, especially not his last name). I had the time of my life walking while under the assertive instruction of a beautiful red-headed drag queen. Honestly all I ever really want is to be exercising to Cher, so this walk fit the bill.
Also I teared up at points. Things got serious! Things got sweaty! That’s Peloton!
But what I love most about the Peloton app is this: it’s wildly encouraging. I feel good after a workout, not just physically but mentally. I didn’t realize how much I craved verbal encouragement while working out (or doing anything, really…maybe something to bring up with a therapist!), but I’m finally getting it and I feel amazing! I need Jermaine to remind me that some people talk the talk, but we’re going to walk the walk. Hell yes we are, Jermaine, and we’re doing it on an incline while listening to Prince. My quads are burning and I’ve never been happier! At no point has anyone mentioned weight or attempting to do anything other than feel good and get stronger.
This isn’t to say I’d recommend Peloton to anyone and everyone. My own husband, for example, doesn’t get it. He’s been using the pre- and post-run stretches and after his first one, he said, “I don’t think this is for me. I don’t want to be told I’m writing a new chapter in my life story when I’m just trying to stretch.” Weird, because…that’s exactly what I need? Ideally, an instructor will bring me to tears as I work out. I need this emotional catharsis even more than I need a ten minute lower body stretch.
I don’t think the Peloton app is a better workout than anything else. I know that people who get into one specific workout can tend, on the internet at least, to tell you that specific workout is the only good workout. Running is the best workout. Actually, running is the worst workout. You have to strength train or you’ll never be in shape. Bicycling is superior to all other forms of exercise! If you don’t have a gym membership you’ll never reach your potential. At-home workouts are the way to go because you don’t waste all that money with a gym membership. You get what I’m saying.
But if the Peloton app is for you…then it’s really for you. If you’re at all curious, I’d highly recommend trying it out. It’s greatly increased my step count, given me a ton of exciting new workouts to try, and brought me so much joy. I fear this is a little bit like that old quote: “How do you know someone’s vegan/doing Crossfit? Don’t worry, they’ll tell you.” But you know what I say? Come sit by me then! I’d love to hear any and all Peloton thoughts. Favorite instructors, favorite workouts, etc. Jen and I spent most of our dinner at a Mexican restaurant talking about Peloton, and frankly, I could’ve talked for hours more.
I’ve gotta end this now if I’m going to get up early for another 20 minute 80s walk with Jermaine. Who knows what encouragement he’ll offer me? He’s definitely going to tell me to do what I love and love what I do. It’s nice to have something to count on in this crazy world.
One of my pet peeves is when people discuss a commercial online, for good or bad reasons. I’m not giving some company free advertising. I’m not spending my one wild and precious life discussing a beer/razor/whatever commercial. No thanks!
I'm on year 3 of peloton app use (i still don't own any peloton equipment) and I love it. My favorite instructors are Ross and Kristin, and they mostly do the yoga and mediation stuff, and I love how Ross explains all the nerdy stuff about Yoga even though I dont get it at all, not even after three years. But I'm with your husband on the other stuff, I don't like the encouragement or the anecdotes or the singing along off key 😂. So I mostly do all other workouts on mute, just reading the subtitles to know what to do and playing my own music.
Welcome, Kerry!
Like Nora from Book Lovers, I am obsessed with my Peloton bike. I also love the Barre and Pilates classes. I am very picky about my bike instructors (I usually stick to the Brits, Cody, and Emma), but I love Hannah Corbin’s barre classes. It’s been so hot here in Oklahoma that I don’t have the energy to workout, but I just moved my bike in front of the window ac unit in my back room for motivation.