Stealth Christmas Films

For when you want to be festive...but not TOO festive

Recently, I went to the theater at 11 am to watch the film Eileen (more on that in the paid monthly roundup; I have a lot to say). All I knew was that it starred a blonde Anne Hathaway and it was one of the only films showing in the window of time I had free, and frankly that was all I needed. What I didn’t know was this: Eileen is a Christmas film! By which I mean, it’s set at Christmastime.

There are a lot of people who have strict rules around what makes a Christmas film, but I’m not one of them. I won’t argue with you about whether Die Hard is a Christmas movie, and not only because it’s 2023 and we just can’t be having that debate anymore. I mean, it’s set at Christmas. There’s a Santa hat involved. Hans Gruber says “ho…ho…ho.” What more do the people want?

As far as I’m concerned, if there’s one Christmas scene, it’s a Christmas movie, baby! Sometimes you don’t even need a Christmas scene—you just need the vibes. And sometimes I find that these Not-Really-Christmas movies are even more enjoyable than the classics that get talked about and rewatched every year. These are films that don’t have a lesson or moral around Christmas, or some half-baked thesis about the importance of family. These are just regular movies that take place with some twinkle lights or a tree involved. Sometimes there’s drama, often there’s sadness, and occasionally there’s even murder. Here are some of my favorite stealth Christmas movies, some of which are more obvious than others.

Carol. You might argue that this is a full-stop Christmas film. Rooney Mara wears that little Santa hat and Cate Blanchett buys a Christmas tree, just standing around like she’s Rock Hudson. But it’s not like (most) people mention this in the same breath as White Christmas or Elf. My main reason for including it is that I think people who haven’t seen it might not even know that it’s set at Christmas. If you like your holiday films with a touch of illicit lesbian relationships, Cate Blanchett taking off her coat while driving (a scene I think about whenever I take my coat off while driving), retro department stores, and Kyle Chandler, then this is the film for you!

The Holdovers. This one’s pretty explicitly Christmassy, actually, and even features a broken ornament on the poster (the symbolism!). But here I am, including it anyway. It’s cozy as heck (apologies to Alexander Payne, although I would counsel him that it’s best for your mental health/sense of self to just accept the labels put on your work as compliments) and very wintry. If you’ve ever found yourself longing to see Paul Giamatti at an ice-skating rink (and haven’t we all?), then please watch this film.

Little Women. I know many people who watch the 1994 version every Christmas, and for good reason. It opens on a Christmas season, the soundtrack has strong Christmas vibes, and most of the film’s most memorable scenes are set during winter. It’s an all-season movie, but one that feels very appropriate for THIS season.

Eileen. Eileen takes place at Christmas! The most dramatic and upsetting Christmas ever. This movie is bleak as heck, cold, gross, etc. Maybe that’s your mood this season; Christmas isn’t always cheerful, not even in the movies. Sometimes it involves someone waking up in their own barf in a car.

All the Nora Ephron-Meg Ryan movies. They all have great Christmas scenes: Harry and Sally with the Christmas tree. Kathleen sadly decorating the tree and thinking about her mom. “Horses, horses, horses.”

The Royal Tennenbaums. This isn’t a movie set at Christmas, but it sure does feel cozy. “An entire dysfunctional family in one house” is what Christmas movies are made of. It’s cold sometimes and there’s at least one iconic coat, and a song from A Charlie Brown Christmas soundtrack is featured. That’s Christmas to me!

I would love to hear your favorite stealth Christmas movies—let me know in the comments. I’ll see you either later this month or at the beginning of January with the paid roundup. And speaking of paid subscriptions…might I suggest that a paid subscription to No One Asked is a wonderful gift if you’re shopping for:

-a weird girl

-someone who LOVES Dakota Johnson

-anyone who loves movies

-80s-90s YA aficionados

-YOU! If you’ve been waiting for the right moment to get a paid subscription…well, the gift you buy may be your own!

Whether you’re a paid subscriber or a free subscriber, I appreciate you being here. Merry Christmas, happy holidays! xo