Free Winona (from Richard Gere)
I loved every second of Autumn in New York, a bizarre and extremely unromantic romance
Like many girls, I had a Winona Ryder phase. I watched all the hits when I was in elementary/middle/high school: Reality Bites. Heathers. Mermaids. Girl, Interrupted. Of course the 1994 Little Women, which is one of the movies I’ve seen most in my life. Even, strangely, the remake of Mr. Deeds with Winona and Adam Sandler, which I went to the theater to see with two of my high school besties shortly after Winona’s shoplifting arrest. I even, for reasons I don’t fully understand, recorded Winona’s SNL appearance on a VHS tape. At one point, she and Moby steal a bunch of stuff from a department store? I think Mango was involved (unfortunately I had a VERY weird crush on Chris Kattan back then, do not ask me to explain it because I can’t!!)?
What I’m saying is…I loved Winona. Still do. But somehow I completely missed Autumn in New York, a romantic drama that came out in 2000. It’s shocking to me that I didn’t rent this at Family Classic Video and then force all my friends to watch it at a slumber party. But I’m glad I didn’t, because that meant I got to experience it for the first time last week, and what an experience it was! The reviews of this movie were pretty universally terrible, and there’s a reason for that: the couple has no chemistry, it isn’t romantic, it’s kinda weird, and it’s a genre of film that was wholly out of style in the year 2000.
However. Sometimes a movie doesn’t have to “make sense” or “be romantic” or “feature a male lead who isn’t a huge jerk” to be entirely enjoyable. I loved every second of this film, and I would watch it again right this second if someone asked me. So let me tell you about it, in hopes that you, too, can experience the thrill of Winona falling in love with a boring yet insensitive older man against a backdrop of autumnal NYC.
For starters, I need to tell you that I don’t like Richard Gere. Even as a kid when I developed a crush on every man on screen in a rom-com (Hugh Grant, Tom Hanks, Adam Sandler, Heath Ledger, Michael Vartan, Paul Rudd, Ethan Embry, Adrien Grenier, Bill Pullman…it truly didn’t matter the man’s age, if he was in a rom-com then my romance-starved heart found him attractive), Richard Gere left me cold. I just don’t get him. Well, this film didn’t help.
Richard Gere owns a restaurant, which he works at very occasionally. One night, he sees Winona sitting a table, surrounded by friends. She’s beautiful, of course, with her 2000s-era pixie cut that pretty much no one but Winona could pull off. He’s pulled across the restaurant to her, as if she’s a magnet in the shape of a much younger woman. And then he realizes…he knows her grandmother, played by Elaine Stritch!
It turns out Winona is a hat maker (sure) and, as a means of getting her to go out with him, Richard Gere later contacts her and asks her to make a hat for the woman he’s taking as his date to some fancy benefit. Winona’s all “Well, what’s this lady’s hat size? What kind of hat does she like?” and Richard Gere is like “Shhhhh, don’t worry about logistics. The only thing you need to know is that this hat must resemble the curve of a woman’s hip.” Can you imagine if you were trying to make a hat and Richard Gere gave you that direction? Also, Richard Gere is really gross and condescending to her throughout their phone conversation. At one point, he tells her she says “wow” a lot, and then says, “You’re a grownup now. When is that gonna stop?” Again, he does not know this woman and he just gave her a bizarre, vague hat assignment. When is attempting to trick women into dating you via asking them to make hats gonna stop, Richard? The age difference between them is already weird (she’s 22, he’s 48), so maybe tone down the teacher/student vibes.
But Winona’s into this guy, so she finds this sexy. She makes the hat, carries it to his place in the rain, and when she shows up…you guessed it. His date “can’t make it” (read: never existed) and he wants her to go to the benefit! And wear the hat! And wear a dress he picked up for her! I love it in movies when a rich man picks out a dress for his date to wear, especially when it’s a woman he barely knows. Winona’s dress is a white halter with a shawl that’s made of, like, plastic discs. I don’t know, it was 2000 and we were making everything out of plastic; why not shawls?
They start casually dating, because Richard Gere is like, “I’m a playboy who can’t offer you monogamy” and Winona is like, “that’s fine because I’m dying.” That’s right, Winona is dying. That moody black movie poster was letting you know…this isn’t a rom-com. This is a rom-dram. Winona has a heart problem that means she’s completely healthy and vibrant except when she’s suddenly collapsing, and she’s already outlived her doctors expectations. It’s the perfect relationship! One of them doesn’t want commitment, the other one could die at any moment.
Except, of course, the two of them grow closer. Richard Gere even takes Winona to a very charming Halloween party at his friend Anthony LaPaglia’s cozy New York home. I loved this scene, mostly because I, too, would love to go to a party at Anthony LaPaglia’s (whether he’s in So I Married An Axe Murderer or Empire Records, I find him a comforting presence). But also…this is You’ve Got Mail shit. Cozy, New York, leaves falling, kids in costumes. Winona dresses as Emily Dickinson! I love it. The whole movie should’ve been like this.
But that’s not to be, because while Winona is entertaining a group of small children by reciting poetry to them (there’s way more poetry recitation in this movie than you’d expect), Richard Gere is on the roof of Anthony LaPaglia’s townhouse…having sex with his ex-girlfriend!!! The idea of cheating on Winona is bad enough. But doing it on the roof while she’s dressed as Emily Dickinson? It’s simply too much. This man’s gotta go.
Thankfully, Winona dumps him, but unfortunately the movie doesn’t end there. :( Richard Gere wins her back by showing up in her apartment (ugh) and then having sex with her in one of the weirdest sex scenes I’ve ever seen. They’re partially obscured by, like, a frosted glass door. Usually when I watch a sex scene, all I can think about is how it was filmed, what rating the filmmakers were going for, what parts of bodies were off-limits in contracts, etc. This one definitely made me think about all that, and also at one point they did the “hand pressed against glass” thing…you guys, Titanic came out a mere three years ago. You need another way to symbolize someone is having passionate sex, sorry!
Richard Gere continues to suck in other ways, including:
-his adult daughter, Vera Farmiga, shows up and is like, “hey, just wanted to introduce myself since you’ve never been a part of my life.” And then at one point he tells her he has a picture of her when she was 12…so he’s known he has a daughter, and has made zero effort to be involved in her life in any way. Not great!
-When Winona collapses, he finds out that she doesn’t want to attempt a risky surgery. He gets so mad, even though that should be her choice! He basically just met her and was still having rooftop sex with exes for part of their relationship.
-He goes behind her back to meet with various surgeons who might perform this super-risky surgery.
-When he does find a surgeon in Cleveland who might do it (J.K. Simmons, who I would let perform surgery on me even though he isn’t really a doctor…he’s just that reassuring), he asks, “in OHIO???” Buddy, we also have hospitals in Ohio. I promise.
-He convinces Winona to go through with the surgery even though she’s been very clear that she didn’t want to…but now she does because she wants more time with him. More time to do what? Get cheated on??
-He has more chemistry with Vera Farmiga, his adult daughter, than he does with Winona. This isn’t necessarily the character’s fault but it does make the movie weirder.
-After not speaking to his daughter for her entire life, he shows up at her place to tell her all about how he’s upset that Winona Ryder is dying. Richard, you need a therapist, because your adult daughter who you barely know is not the person to tell all this to.
-Oh, I almost forgot…there’s this whole thing where Richard Gere used to be friends with Winona’s mom, who died when she was young, but don’t worry, Elaine Stritch tells us that they never dated. As if him dating her mom could make this movie any weirder. Anyway, Winona’s mom was in love with him but he didn’t reciprocate and then when she died, he never even called Elaine Stritch to express his condolences. This man sucks!
Winona eventually gets the surgery and, spoiler alert…she dies. That’s right, Winona dies in this film, despite Richard Gere’s and J.K. Simmons’s best efforts. The film ends with Richard Gere on a boat in the park with Vera Farmiga and her new baby, because I guess Winona’s death inspired him to be a better father/grandfather. Vera and Richard still make a better couple than Winona and Richard.
I finished this movie thinking, “…hmmm.” I didn’t buy into the romance. I hated Richard Gere for the entirety of the film’s runtime. And yet. And yet! I loved every second of it. I yelled at the TV. I felt alive when I got mad at Richard Gere. I yearned to be besties with Anthony LaPaglia. And I loved those cozy autumn vibes! Give me Winona Ryder walking through an autumnal park and you have a fan for life. Maybe this shows how desperate I am for anything that gives me that Nora Ephron fall feeling. I’ll take crumbs. Just show me the city with some nice light and make it festive! That’s all I’m asking!
A few stray thoughts/questions:
-Autumn in New York was directed by Joan Chen, who played Josie on Twin Peaks! According to IMDB, this was the first major Hollywood movie to be directed by an Asian woman. Perhaps predictably, they didn’t treat her or the film right! It wasn’t screened for critics and she was upset about the changes the studio made, saying “When directors don’t have final cut, it’s very hard to be responsible for anything — and to actually create good work.” I wonder if she ever talked to David Lynch about directing. He has lots of thoughts on the importance of having final cut!
-At one point, Richard Gere is telling Winona what he remembers about her mom and he says, “She ate her ice cream with a fork.” There’s never been a more nonsensical “quirky girl” attribute in the history of film!
-What is the floor plan of his apartment? And what’s going on with his terrace? He seems to be the only one who can access it, and yet when the camera zoomed out, it’s the only terrace on the entire building. How much money does he make?
-Speaking of which…how is he making private terrace money when he’s never at work?
-Again, why doesn’t Winona wear the hat to the benefit??? She spent so much time making it resemble the curve of a woman’s hip!
Is Autumn in New York perfect? No. Is it a convincing romance? Also no. But did I love watching it? Absolutely. I miss the days when we had big-budget, star-filled, weird romantic dramas where people make terrible decisions. Do they even make movies like this anymore? I don’t think so, and we’re all worse off for it, if you ask me. Just last night I fell asleep in front of a Marvel project (Werewolf by Night, which is less than an hour long), and I’ll say one thing for Autumn in New York: not once did it put me to sleep.
Autumn in New York is streaming on Amazon Prime, and it’s the perfect time to watch it, especially if you’re watching too many scary movies and freaking yourself out like me. Here, the only horror is imagining being in a relationship with this giant baby of an adult man! Still pretty scary. See you next week for a rundown of my favorite scary movie experiences, including the film that almost made me cry in a theater because I was so terrified.
Winona Ryder is our GenX queen (and Ethan Hawke is our King). I'd forgotten how awful Richard Gere's character is in this. Have you seen her in Lucas?