28 Things I've Learned About Publishing

It would've been so much better if I'd learned 38 things

Me, about to open all my presents

I turn 38 this week, and I’m taking the opportunity to tell you now that I love my birthday. Which is maybe weird, because honestly I’ve had some real bad birthdays in my time. But I think the secret to having a great birthday is keeping your expectations low and also being a person who really enjoys your own company. I always try to take my birthday off of obligations/work and spend some time doing the very simple things I enjoy: getting a pastry and an iced tea and reading outside, for example. Taking a walk. Doing a Peloton yoga class that makes me cry. You know, the basics! I expect nothing from anyone else and I’m certainly not going to have a party. I guess I just like having a day devoted to little luxuries. Yes, I am a Taurus, why do you ask?

Anyway. I always love it when people do lists of things they’ve learned on their birthdays, but unfortunately I’ve learned almost nothing about life in my 38 years :( Publishing, however, I’ve learned a little bit about. I still think of myself as a publishing newcomer, which is demonstrably untrue since I’ve published seven books. Surely I’ve learned something in that time. I’ve had three different publishers (one small, two big), worked in two different age ranges/genres (young adult and romance), and worked with four editors. I’ve had books that sold well and books that didn’t sell well at all. I’ve had many different experiences along my publishing journey and I have learned some things—things that I occasionally wish I could shout at people on social media. Instead, here’s a list of 28 things I’ve learned. I really wanted to make this list 38 items long but ultimately I didn’t want to pad it out with a bunch of stuff I don’t care about. Instead, you get 28 of my strongest publishing beliefs! Take it all with a grain of salt, and write your own list if you think I’m wrong.

Oh, and one more thing: there are a few topics I definitely don’t have any advice on, and unfortunately those are the ones I get asked about most. I’ve never self-published, so I can’t tell you anything about that. And people often ask me about query letters, or how I got my agent, and I hate to tell you this, but…I’ve never queried. Never written even one single query letter. “How did you get your agent?” might be the most-asked question any author gets, but I’ve decided to stop telling and re-telling my story because a) it’s very long and kinda complicated, or maybe I’m just bad at telling it, and b) it cannot help you even one bit, because it involves a publisher that no longer exists. It’s just a long, unhelpful story! I think a google search would give you better advice than I could.

Okay, on with the list!

1. Don’t take advice from strangers online. I know. You’re reading a list from a stranger online. But sometimes I see people I don’t know give out some of the most terrible advice and I cringe thinking of people who don’t know better seeing it and assuming it’s true. Here’s the thing: I don’t think most people are knowingly giving you bad advice. But a lot of the time, people tell you what publishing is like when they’ve published one book, with one publisher, with one editor, and had one experience. Your experience is going to vary widely depending on your genre/publisher/whether or not your publisher is heavily promoting your book. So realize that many people sharing their advice online are merely sharing their experience, and it might not be applicable to you at all.

2. The second most important thing: do not trash talk other writers online. Seriously. Don’t do it. This industry is small and you truly never know who you’re going to be sharing a table with at a festival someday. Once when I went to a festival in North Carolina, I shared a shuttle from the airport with Mary Laura Philpott, and on the way back I sat right beside Abbi Waxman on the plane. Can you imagine how terrible those experiences would be if I’d been trash talking their work on the internet? Not that I would ever do that, to be clear, because I love their books and they’re both lovely, hilarious people. But you can wind up sitting beside anyone on a plane to a festival/conference. Vent to a friend, privately, if you hate something. Or write criticism for the New York Times and get paid. Or at least put your negative thoughts behind a Substack paywall. I don’t know, figure it out!! Just don’t say I didn’t warn you. Also I spent a whole post trash-talking Nicholas Sparks but that’s only because I assume he doesn’t care what I think and he probably isn’t going to end up next to me on a plane.

3. It’s actually really normal for your events to not be well attended. I know you see events online where, like, a million people show up, like the time I was in conversation with Tessa Bailey and the the line of people waiting to meet her was five hours long. But most of us are not Tessa Bailey! I myself have done an event where only two people showed up. I know MANY authors who’ve done events where NO ONE showed up. This is fine. This is normal. Is it fun? No. I heard a story once (I wish I could remember what author this was about) about an author who was sitting at an empty signing table at a Barnes & Noble when she got the call from her agent that her book had made the NYT bestseller list. You can sell a lot of books and STILL have a poorly attended event. I promise it will be okay.

4. Embrace that writing is full of humiliation. Maybe no one will show up to your event. Maybe you’ll say something stupid in front of a crowd. Maybe someone in the signing line will tell you about all the typos they found in your book (hmmm, is that a personal experience? Who can say!). You are going to be embarrassed over and over again, because you decided to put many vulnerable thoughts into a book and then stand in front of people and talk about that book. I fully believe that this much humiliation is good for the ego.

5. Speaking of typos…they’re gonna get through. Even though you’ve read your book a million times, and your editor has read it a million times, and your copyeditor has read it a million times…you will still find a typo later. Probably when you’re flipping through the finished copies that showed up at your house.

6. This one is very specific, but…you know how everyone likes to use the term “instant New York Times bestseller!” to show that a book is a success? Well, typically a book’s sales are going to be the highest in that first week, because those numbers include preorders. That’s one of the many reasons authors are always telling you to preorder. It seems way more impressive to me to be a non-instant bestseller, because that means those sales are continuing past the first week. But that doesn’t sound as flashy! This isn’t advice, it’s really just something I’ve learned and I want everyone to know!

7. People always say you shouldn’t look at Goodreads, and you shouldn’t. But I think there’s an assumption that you shouldn’t look because it will hurt your feelings. It might! But mostly, you shouldn’t look because it’s simply not useful to you. On the outside, Goodreads might seem like feedback, but feedback is what you get before the book is published, from your editorial team and anyone else who’s giving you notes. You can’t do anything about those Goodreads reviews when your book is already out. It will only make you frustrated.

8. Oh, and also Goodreads isn’t useful for you because it’s thousands of people stating their very personal preferences about books, and you can never make them all happy. And also sometimes their preferences are the tiniest things you never even thought about. Here’s an example: in one of my earlier books, someone hated that I wrote about the characters’ coats so much: “We get it, they’re cold!” I think about this whenever I write, and it’s not helpful at all, although I guess it does stop me from describing coats too much. “We get it, they’re cold!”—me to me as I delete another coat description.

9. In one of her books, Lauren Graham said that she never Googles herself because if there’s a good article/review about her, someone will tell her. This is true. Let your publishing team forward any great reviews to you. Do not google yourself.

10. Speaking of which…if you’re just starting out, have you considered a pen name? Think about it! I use my own name because I needed to flex on my haters from the past, but that means if, say, someone online is like, “Ugh, I’m DONE with Kerry Winfrey. I’ve given her enough chances. I just don’t like her,” I’m like…but wait…little old ME? I don’t even KNOW you. It feels very personal even though it actually isn’t. I do wish I’d chosen a different writing name and simply allowed myself to fade into obscurity for my haters.

11. You aren’t going to make your book a bestseller via your social media. I know there are examples of people who have done this, but they are few and far between.

12. If you’re burned out, you should take a break. Otherwise your body will take one for you.

13. Please come up with your own measure of success for a book—one that isn’t sales or money. Because if your only measure of success is sales or money, you’re going to feel like a complete failure a lot of the time.

14. You actually don’t have to join Threads. Instagram is always like, “Hey, look what’s going on over on Threads!” and it’s always some intense drama I don’t understand. Once someone was like, “Listen, if you’re still reading J.K. Rowling and Tolstoy, then you’re part of the problem….” and it trailed off and I never found out why I’m not supposed to be reading Tolstoy (I already know what’s wrong with J.K. Rowling). I think about it all the time. Did Tolstoy get cancelled? Even though he was already dealt the ultimate cancellation (death)? I’m certainly not going to google it! The point is, you don’t need to be on any kind of social media just to keep up with pointless drama. That’s one thing I can tell you for SURE, seven books in: most of that stuff does not matter. You should only be using social media platforms that you enjoy, because people can tell when you don’t like them.

15. Your agent should be easy to get in touch with. My agent has always emailed or called me back immediately (hi, Stephen!). It’s not normal for your agent to take weeks to get back to you, or for you to have to chase them down, or for them to not answer your questions.

16. People will post online if their book earns out or goes into another printing, and they SHOULD brag about that stuff if they want to! It’s great for them! But it doesn’t tell YOU anything. You don’t know how big (or small) their advance was. You don’t know how big (or small) their first print run was. One of my books went into multiple printings because it sold lots of copies. But one of my YA books went into a second printing and I’m pretty sure it’s just because they didn’t print many copies to start out with? Lol, but that’s the truth. You never know what’s actually going on from someone else’s social media, so don’t compare yourself to it.

17. Speaking of comparison! Do not…DO NOT….DOOOOO NOTTTTT…waste too much of your one wild and precious life feeling bad about your writing career because you’re comparing it to someone else’s. I cannot stress this enough. Someone else’s career has no real relevance to yours. Are we all supposed to sit around and feel bad that we’re not Colleen Hoover? She has a very exciting career, but I want my career, not someone else’s. If you’re getting caught up in what some other author is getting that you’re not getting, well, let me tell you…you’re just going to feel bad and get bitter and that’s not a great place to write books from.

18. Related: don’t compare your writing speed/frequency to people who aren’t in the same phase of life. It’s not helpful for me to try to mimic the writing schedule of someone who doesn’t have a kid. If you have another “day job” and children and you’re a writer, you’re only going to make yourself feel bad if you’re comparing yourself to someone who has neither another job nor children. Not to say that other writers can’t say helpful things, obviously, but you shouldn’t feel like you have to model your career after something that’s impossible for you.

19. Back to events…maybe don’t think of them as a way to sell books. Once I saw a big-deal-famous author post about how she couldn’t travel around the country to do events because it wasn’t worth it to her to go to a store and only sell 60 books. And there is a high likelihood that you won’t even sell 60 books at an event (if you’re a midlist author). Instead, try to look at events as a way to make connections: with readers, with other authors, and especially with booksellers.

20. Speaking of those booksellers! One of the absolutely highlights of my job has been the relationships I’ve formed with booksellers. Bookstores have always been my favorite places, and now I actually know the people who work there, and they know me, and they like me (or pretend to! I don’t know!). You can have an event where one person shows up, but if you get to know the booksellers then it’s not a waste of time. And I don’t even mean in a sleazy, “they’ll sell my books if I get to know them” way…because, believe me, people can tell when you’re sucking up to them.

21. And on that note, be nice to everyone you meet in a professional capacity, and not just the people who you think can give you something (a blurb, an agent referral, etc.). It is very, very obvious when writers are only nice to the people they think can help them. I’ve been lucky to have observed this in a several different capacities…when I wrote about books for a website, when my book was buzzy, and when my book wasn’t buzzy. I honestly think some people don’t realize they’re even doing this, but other people aren’t stepping stones for you to achieve a career goal.

22. Related: no one owes me anything is one of my mottos. No one owes me a blurb. No publication owes me coverage. Unless I’ve signed a contract with someone, they don’t owe me anything.

23. Libraries aren’t bad for authors. You might be thinking, well, duh Kerry. But more than once I’ve seen a writer complain about readers telling them they got their books from the library. Don’t do this! It’s kinda rude and incredibly shortsighted. Libraries pay for books and they introduce your books to a wider audience. And as a big library user, I personally can’t afford to buy every single book I read (nor do I have the space for them!). Don’t expect readers to have endless book budgets.

24. On the flip side, be grateful for every reader who shows up to your event and buys a book. That’s a big deal.

25. Critics aren’t your enemy. Too often I see people dismiss critics as failed writers, or lazy, or cowardly, but it’s their job to give their professional opinion of something. I take this one a little personally since I’m also a professional reviewer (I’m not talking about my newsletter, lol), but criticism has been a huge part of the way I engage with art since I was a kid. Reading reviews in Entertainment Weekly or hearing them on Siskel and Ebert was how I started to form my own opinions. Sometimes I wish all novelists could also be reviewers and all reviewers could also be novelists so that people could understand how difficult and important both fields are.

26. Remember that books outside your genre exist, and some of them are good. As someone who writes genre fiction but also enjoys literary fiction, it seems like so often we’re encouraged to stay in one camp and deride the other, but your writing is only going to be better if you realize that books in every genre can be great.

27. It’s so nice to be able to talk to other writers…who you trust. You can only get to know other writers with time, but this is another reason why it’s so important to go to book events and talk to people and make those connections. It’s good to have someone to ask “hey is this normal?”…or to complain about when something goes wrong, instead of taking it to social media.

28. Have you ever thought about what writing success actually is for you? For a long time, I thought I knew what success meant: more sales, more money, more promotion, more publicity, more everything meant BETTER. But then I listened to the podcast Waiting for Impact with Dave Holmes and it genuinely changed the way I think about my career. It’s hard to explain what the podcast is about, but it’s sort of about what it’s like to pursue a creative dream. And I realized as I was listening to it that the career I want…is honestly the one I have. Okay, sure, I would like more money. And it would be nice if someone could just make one of my books into a movie already. But everything else I have is pretty great, and I don’t actually have a desire to do a giant book tour all around the country or have my face in Times Square. All I’m saying is…think about it! Maybe the career you really want is the one you already have.

Okay, that’s it for now! I’m sure I’ll think of some stuff I forgot about as soon as I hit “publish,” but them’s the breaks. Wouldn’t it have been nice if I hit 38 things? Yeah. It would’ve. But instead you’ve got 28 things I actually believe. Feel free to ask questions in the comments, but remember that I actually don’t know anything other than my own experience. See you soon. xo